Wendy gets into the Christmas Spirit: They Might Giants Sing about Santa

It's time for me to going a-searching for Christmas songs. This is a Spiralling Shape tradition, if indeed doing it once before can be classed as a tradition. Traditions have to start somewhere don't they?
Anyway, enjoy.

Describe yourself in one word.....

That was the challenge set for my this evening by one of my facebook friends after I did a kind of viral status update that asked my fb friends to think of one word to describe me. Well of course both challenges are virtually impossible. How to narrow down the complexity of our human natures and temperaments to a single word? How to encompass our varieties of mood that wax and wane from the day to day, hour to hour, sometimes minute to minute? So I decided to make a list of words that I think describe me. Here's what I came up with in a short time.

Sarcastic,
Ironic,
Dry,
Witty,
Cranky,
Quiet,
Naive,
Cautious,
Optimistic,
Pessimistic,
Mad,
Happy,
Content,
Satisfied,
Repetitive,
Logical,
Unsure,
Freckly,
Shortsighted,
Tall,
Lazy,
Enthusiastic,
Confident,
Shy,
Introverted,
Romantic,
Sedentary,
Thoughtful,
Messy,
Helpful,
Dull,
Sympathetic,
Caring,
Annoyed,
Frustrated,
Hopeful,
Nervous
Joyful,
Sad,
Isolated,
Friendly,
Skeptical,
Flexible,
Just,
Fair,
Rigid,
Funny,
Weird,
Laughing,
Daggy,
Individual,
Writer,
Impatient,
Difficult,
Pale,
Teacher,
Anxious,
Relaxed,
Calm,
Reader,
Stressed,
Persistent,
Hopeless,
Brave,
Empathetic,
Listening,
Wordy,
Reflective,
Scared,
Dumb,
Uncertain,
Intelligent,
Boring,
Musical,
Untidy,
Complex,
Changeable,
Human,
Temperamental,
Observant,
Aware,
Contradictory.....

Wendy gets into the Christmas Spirit: X-terminate-mas

Look!!!! For those of you following my Tardis stakeout adventure it continues....
Now the Dalek has emerged from the garage to form a delightful Doctor Who themed Christmas tableau.(should there be an "x" on the end of that? I'm too lazy to look it up).

Wendy gets into the Christmas Spirit: Cheap Commercialised Fashion

In my bid to further get into the Christmas spirit I did what every good consumer should do in the weeks leading up to Christmas. That's right, I went to Supre and bought some cheap as chips, poorly made, Christmas themed T shirts. I braved the terrorist interrogation chic fluorescent lighting, and the loud techno tunes blasting through the sound system. I ignored the fact that I was the oldest person in the store by a good 15 years (that is until I saw some lovely old dears checking out the sundresses on my way out). I picked through the racks and racks of crap in search of an XL (which I do believe is the equivalent of an M in other normal stores) and picked my new tees. I was pretty chuffed because last week when I looked at them they were 12 dollars or so. This week they were On Special for 7.50 - thus the buying of two.

One says "Dear Santa, Define Good" - hilarious, no?
The other has a picture of a little angel saying "I'll be good next year". Cute, yes?

I feel these are very appropriate work wear and shall be wearing them as much as possible between now and Christmas Eve so I get my full 7.50 worth before they become redundant on Boxing Day.

Wendy gets into the Christmas Spirit: Tardis Stakeout

Ok, so it's a really bad photo because like a secret crimefighter on a stakeout I had to glide by this house in my car and quickly snap an iPhone picture, but here is a family with true commitment to the Christmas spirit. For weeks I have been driving past watching them build this life size Tardis and an excellent Dalek in their garage. Sadly, everytime I did drive by they were either working on it, or out in the yard, so I didn't want to stop like a scary Doctor Who stalker and take a picture. But this evening on my way home from my parents' place, the Tardis was out on the trailer and there was no-one around. So TA-DA!
Success.
I don't think I'm Torchwood material however. The stress of taking this photo undetected was quite enough for me. Fighting aliens I shall leave to the experts.

Wendy gets into the Christmas Spirit: Lights

With minimal effort I have transformed my loungeroom into a Winter Wonderland. Here's a few simple steps you can follow for yourself.

1. Light the candles you already own but never light any other month of the year. Here are the nice handpainted tealight holders I bought in Hobart. They look Christmassy.



2. The same as for step 1, except this time light the tealights you bought at Wheel and Barrow at Robina Shoppingtown in September. Lighting them in December means they are for Christmas.



3. Turn on the fairylights that have been strung on your bookcase since last December but not turned on all year. This defines them as your "Christmas lights".



4. Sit back and admire your Christmas lighting handiwork.

Confounding things many of which I am oblivious to and/or don't understand

Lady Gaga
The Paranormal Romance section in Dymocks in Bundaberg
Chai Lattes
The Jonas Brothers
Google Wave
anything connected to Twilight and vampires generally
Daniel Radcliffe's eyebrows
Tony Abbott
Butterfly (as in swimming)
Will Ferrell
Exercise
Artichokes
Farmville and why people keep losing cows...tsk tsk
Empire of the Sun
How to banish ants from my kitchen
Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of Time
How to cook eggplant and artichoke
Why people rave about seafood especially at Christmas
What I did for procrastination before the Internet

I did not shout HURRY UP YOU SLOW EMO TEENAGER

I went.
I saw.
I chose a theme which shall not be revealed here because some people who are receiving gifts may be reading.
I did 80 percent of my gift buying in the one shop.
I bought auxiliary impulse presents for myself.
I watched the neverending line for Santa photos never end.
I dodged trolleys, old people, bogans, small children trying to escape from their parents, parents screaming at their children, and people having long detailed conversations in the middle of the mall oblivious to the fact that some of us might be trying to walk through.
I waited for the teenage checkout girl in Woolworths to have a five minute conversation with her friends who were in front of me buying few items yet taking forever to do so.
I said "Fine thanks" when aforementioned checkout girl asked me how I was. I patiently waited as she very slowly scanned all my items. I did not shout HURRY UP YOU SLOW EMO TEENAGER. Except in my head of course. Not out loud.
I came home.
I am now going to eat lunch and have a little recovery nanna nap.

Dear working week

Dear Working Week

I know it's been a while since we met but I don't remember you being quite so intrusive into my actual life. The thing is I have quite a pile of books in various shapes and sizes that I would like to be reading rather than the infinite email trail you supply to me each morning. I also have a lot of quite nice music that I would like to listen to properly. By properly I mean I would like to listen to it clearly and loudly, rather than having to play it quietly in the background, turning it off when I answer the phone or missing bits when I go out of my office.

Furthermore, I'm not sure if you realise but five full days in a row is quite a long time to concentrate. For example, I would quite like it if it was Saturday today. Any chance you could do some kind of restructure to your organisation and put say, two days on two days off in place. I'm sure others would appreciate that. As you know restructures are all the rage these days, and making a few days redundant wouldn't be that big of a deal. The other thing you might like to think about is making your days reapply for their positions. Monday, for example, has been performing unsatisfactorily for some time now. In private industry they would have had at least had to complete a performance review and improve themselves by now. This doesn't seem to happen in a public organisation such as yours.

Anyway, working week, these are just some thoughts from one who has had a month to distance themselves from your operations, and now returns bright eyed, fresh faced and full of enthusiasm to make work a better place for everyone.

Kind regards

Wendy

the path to twig destruction is strewn with antique blue shards of glass

Once again lulled into a false sense of complacency I left my bedroom door open where the highly appealing to cats Christmas arrangement of baubly twigs is located up very high on my bookcase. For months, it has gone seemingly unnoticed by cat-like eyes.

Needless to say, I am an idiot and my cat got the better of me. However, this time it did not destroy the cheap twiggy Christmas decorations. Oh no! In its path to twig destruction was a lovely blue antique glass vase given to me by my grandmother.

If anyone is mosaicing a sky I have plenty of shards of broken glass to give away.

I have also had to get the vacuum cleaner out IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WEEK.

I also have a plump grey cat who may or may not get dinner tonight. I will reserve my decision on that for later in the evening.

Bedroom door now closed.