Monday, August 31, 2009

Hey Monday...look over there

Hey Monday
Not sure if you remember last Monday but I sure do. You seem to have arrived back again with suspicious speed. I do hope you're not stealing time from any of the other days of the week. (Not that I'm accusing you of anything underhand. No Sir or Madam). However, with those events in mind I'm asking if you could perhaps work your special patented brand of wizardry on someone else today. All I would like is a fairly smooth day that gets the week off to a pleasant start. Not too much to ask I'm sure even you will agree.
Have a good one
Kind Regards
Wendy

Sunday, August 30, 2009

What Wendy Watched: It's your Australian Idol

Thank goodness for the fast forward. Just got through 2 hours of Idol in 1. I'll spare you the revolting song choices and awful stage presences and keep it short this evening.

My picks are:

Tim, Teneille, Toby and Hayley. The rest were all a little bit ick.

And remember to get voting because it's your Australian Idol.

See you next Sunday Orstraylia.

Bookclub report: Rapper, flapper...whatever

We just never know where our bookclub choice is going to take us. Yesterday we had all watched Quiz Show. Some of us had seen it a few times, others never before. (We alternate between books and films). Reasons for never watching it before seemed to range from an ambivalence to an outright dislike of Ralph Fiennes. Fair enough. I don't find him to be the most scintillating of actors, but that seemed to suit his character in this film. That got us on to The English Patient. Two of us had seen it. One was vehement that it was highly overrated and way, way too long. This gave them something in common with Elaine Benes which is no bad thing. I haven't seen it because of my ongoing suspicion of movies that get rave reviews and look dull, long and boring. (See Forrest Gump, Titantic, Apollo 18 and many more). Plus I couldn't get through the book.

Back to Quiz Show. Everyone agreed that John Turturro was excellent as Herb Stempel. This lead us to a lengthy discussion of the Coen Brothers and some recommendations for further viewing. I wondered why Robert Redford had cast English actors in the leads - Paul Schofield, along with Fiennes. And we all thought Rob Morrow's accent was highly distracting. I also thought his eyebrows were a bit much, but forgot to mention that at the time. There was a lengthy discussion of the American Dream, memories of the introduction of television, the intersection of race, class, stereotyping in the media, spelling bees, knowledge for knowledge's sake, how much has changed or not in the quiz show genre, and the general working of television. We are indeed fortunate to have a real live American as one of our members for extra insight.

Then the highlight. Over afternoon tea somehow we got on to movies we had recently seen. Two of us recommended Ghosttown with Ricky Gervais (me being one of them). And two of us had recently watched The Changeling with Angelina. One had loved it. The other thought it slow, boring and in her eagerness to get her point across described Angie as being dressed a rapper (rather than a flapper). Cue much hilarity. I made a joke about baseball caps. I haven't laughed that much in an age.

(N.B. You probably had to be there)

Next time: Song lyrics. I'm excited about that!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

What Wendy Watched: dead good, dead sexy, dead annoying

And now we turn our attention to Australian Idol. I'm proud to say I haven't yet watched the 7pm Project. Am I missing anything?

Mr G is recapping last night's semi final. UGGGHHH... that Whitney impression really was cringeworthy. Such a shame.

The last six tonight. Tim, Kim, Tenille, Ed,Lucie and James. Looks exciting!!!

Last night's six are lined up awkwardly on the stage. That Sabrina is really really tiny. Here we go. Mr G has the big announcement of who are into the final 12.

Sabrina - WOOOOOOOO. That's the crowd.Not me.

Yes she does look like Fran Drescher.

And now...Scott. Good choice. Although Scott looks like he might drop over in shock. Typically inarticulate and genuinely surprised. That's nice. (I'm not being sarcastic)

Bye bye to the losing four.

My goodness Dicko is wearing a bright shirt. Marcia's happy apparently. JD has gone for yellow. Brave TV shirt colour if I do say so.

What the freak is Rikki Lee wearing? I'll leave that question right there.

Looks like Kim is up first. What dross will she have chosen?

Waking up in Vegas. I'm old. I don't know it.
Too shouty for me.But the judges loved it, in spite of Dicko's weird Vamp/Sandra Dee comments.

Now Ed. Oh he's serious, studying music at university. He sang the dreaded Hallelujah in audition. That goes with Nessun Dorma and I will always love you into the "never cover anywhere ever again" bin.

Foreign Land by Eskimo Joe. Not a fan. Let's see what Ed does.
At least it's not Roxette I guess. A bit of microphone stand action. Not a good look.Ick... falsetto screeching. I'm thinking awful. But what do the judges think? At last JD speaks some sense "not a great vocal". Agreed. Now Mr Pink shirt. Dicko's new favourite word seems to be "dead" - "dead good"/ "dead sexy" etc. It's already a little dead annoying Dicko.

Lucie. Beyonce. Oh spare me. This one has a better voice though. And at least she's not running all over the stage. Apparently Lucie needs to "find a destination". Thanks Dicko. Now Marcia is asking a question. Run away.

Next is Tim. (BTW Stan has the big glasses back).
AT LAST A DECENT SONG CHOICE: Signed, Sealed Delivered. Not easy to sing though. Come on Tim. Oh dear,last note out of tune. Noticeably.
And the judges say: Dicko isn't buying it. Harshness. BOOO...Marcia Mrs Nice Lady. JD agrees with Dicko. That's boring. Oh now we're having an argument between Mr G and Marcia about race. Interesting. More political than the 7:30 Report.
"Tricky" yes insightful comment Mr G.

Tenille: SInging...something I didn't understand Mr G say. At last someone who isn't pushing their voice. That was pretty. Marcia liked it. JD gave a backhanded compliment. Dicko taking on the strange comment mantle. Oh so they're asking her to ruin her vocal chords by pushing it. Bad advice.

James is last. Gnarls Barkley. Interesting choice. He can sing. Command of different registers is good for 18. Hey,I sound like I know what I'm talking about. Not sure about the stage presence though. Wasn't very exciting. Dicko liked it. Hmmm. Marcia loved the song. If she says "know what I'm sayin' much more I may scream.

That's it. Wildcards next.

What Wendy Watched: Those camels really are prettied up with ribbons

Running a bit late tonight so I'll spare you the recap of "previously on the Amazing Race". And now it looks like we're leaving the chilly climes of Northern Europe for India. As you may recall (or not) no one was eliminated but the flight attendants were last and that means this week they'll have to do a "speed bump". AMAZING.

Mr Phil Host Man is explaining something about a Russian theatre. He's recapping, the recap basically.

Margie and Luke are first off to Jaipur, India. Apparently they're looking for a clue at a sacred tree. Surely, that can't be too difficult. Tammy and Victor are next. Victor's telling us how fantastic he is. Boring. Tammy is sitting quietly. SHOUT AT HIM.
Jaime and Cara cheerleaders are next- "aggressivity" - no Jaime and Cara - that's not the greatest word. Mike and Mel leave quickly followed by the short stuntmen Mark and Michael - oh and they're brothers as well. I didn't realise that. Nice.

Everyone's at the airport. These scenes are particularly unamazing and repetitive. Back to Kisha and Jen sisters who are just leaving. So the flight attendants must be last to go looking for flights.

All teams flying to Moscow and then to India. Looks hot and colourful so far. Now the usual fight for the taxis.Victor is heading for "victory" apparently. I sense impending doom for Victor. At least I hope I do. Crazy scenes in the taxi car park. Doesn't seem to be any kind of rank. Mike and Mel are having trouble with their driver. Oh nice - he's going to do his best to drive very fast. Margie's noticing that India is "quite different to what we're used to". REALLY? What's amazing about that is that she felt the need to articulate the obvious. Oh now one of the cheerleaders is crying at the poverty. And so's Luke. Emotional, sad, poignant. Come on people, focus. You're looking for a tree. Get it together.

Thank goodness Ad Break time. I can drink my tea.

More taxi driving looking for the tree. Tammy and Victor arrive first to look for the clue. Little twist - a red phone under the tree with the next clue. They use the taxi driver to interpret. Is that allowed? Calling for Tammy and Victor to be disqualified. The rest of the teams arrive at the tree and fail to notice the obvious RED PHONE. Now that is amazing.

Still with the wandering around the phone...oh now someone thinks to look at it. And noone is using their driver to understand the phone message. Not like Victor and Tammy. The taxi drivers are really getting into the race with some wild driving. Amazingly the flight attendants notice the phone straightaway. Just as well because they're really far behind.

Oh Road Block. Care for Camel. Surely nothing can go wrong here. Those camels really are prettied up with ribbons and such like. They must know they're on the telly. Victor goes first.

Ads again already.

Victor's really exhausted. Or so he tells us. The camels are just chewing away waiting for their food and water. Everyone else is arriving now. Now there's just lots of running with buckets. Not sure why Mike and Mel picked Mel for such a physical task. He's suffering. Mike quietly wonders if it was a good idea after all. You think??

Darn it. Victor and Tammy are done and have their next clue. Next they're going to a puppet store.

Flight attendants have arrived at the camels. Meanwhile we focus on Mel huffing and puffing. I'm hoping there's an ambulance nearby.

Here's Livio explaining the weather. 16-28 in Bundaberg tomorrow if you're interested (which you're probably not). He's not in India. He's in the ad break.

Oh and by the way. Don't panic anybody. I'm recording Idol to watch next.

Back to the camel park. For goodness sake Mel get with the water. Now everyone's on to the grain. Mel is the only one bright enough to work out to use the baskets for the hay. The others are using their water buckets. Amazingly stupid.

Tammy and Victor now have the Detour choice: Movers or Shakers. Both look rather dire I have to say. T and V choose Shakers which involves traditional dancing in the street, in costume for money. I do wish Victor would stop emoting out loud.

Oh more of Mel puffing. Because we can't milk that enough. Amazingly now the others have discovered the baskets. About time too. Back to T and V dancing. Mel is puffing away with the hay. Suddenly Mel is in the lead. That's ridiculous. Cheerleaders are next. Then Margie and Luke and Kisha and Jen. So still left with camels Mark and Michael and the flight attendants who have made up quite a bit of time. Or so the editing would have us believe.

There's far too many ad breaks. 8 dollar thongs at Rivers. hmmm. Rivers stuff always looks better on the ads than it does in real life.

T and V are still scrambling for their 100 rupees.They're off to the pit stop. Bum.

Everyone else still has to do the Detour. Mel and Mike are going to dance.

Oh Mark and Michael...I think the rickshaw is a bad choice. The dancing seems a cinch. Good choice Kisha and Jen/Margie and Luke/ Jamie and Cara. What will flight attendants do. OH NO IT'S THEIR AMAZING SPEED BUMP. Decorating an elephant. Well that sounds simple everyone doesn't it?

Tammy and Victor you are Team number One.

Mike and Mel..off to the pitstop. The flight attendants are making the elephant beautiful.Oh Christie and Jodi are their names. The attendants not the elephants. Jamie and Cara off to the pit stop. They're also throwing a tantrum because they've lost their taxi. It's got their bags in it. Now they're shouting at the taxi driver. Clearly they've read up on how to win friends and influence people.

Short stuntmen are still driving their rickshaws packed with tanks. Kisha and Jen are on their way to the pitstop while Mark and Michael stuff up a little more in unpacking the rickshaws. They're looking for a needle in a haystack. Or rather a little silver elephant in a pile of hay. Yes, because that will be easy. Christie and Jodie are up to the dancing already. Oooooh it's going to be close for last place.

Ads: I've never been to Aldi. Now that is amazing.

Mike and Mel you are Team number Two.

Flight attendants have finished the dancing and on their way to the pitstop. Somehow Mark and Michael short stuntmen have found the tiny silver elephant. Everyone is racing to the pitstop. Running, running, such amazing running.

Kisha and Jen - three

Margie and Luke - Four

Jamie and Cara - Five

Oh the suspense - will it be flight attendants or stuntmen in last place.

Mark and Michael you are team number six. Poor Christie and Jodie. They are last. Again. Eliminated.

Oh some crying now. Sadness.

New time next week: 8:30. Be there or miss out on...well not that much at all really.

Amazing.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

What Wendy Watched: Idol viewers repeat after me....

Repeat after me....

I will always love you is the pop music equivalent of Nessun Dorma.
I will always love you is the pop music equivalent of Nessun Dorma.

No-one should ever attempt to sing it again - in public or private
No-one should ever attempt to sing it again - in public or private.


Why that lovely little girl Aliqua thought that would be a good choice tonight on Idol I HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA. It was cliche-a-rama. Pity really, because she can actually sing.

Curly haired boy no. 1 Daniel sang something I didn't know. All very pleasant, popsville, and unmemorable.

Then the Whitney/Dolly impersonation which was just awkward and embarrassing for all concerned.

The Jason sang Eric Clapton's Tears in Heaven. That is a very pretty song...I just think again BAD SONG CHOICE for a glitzy competition like this. And what is the fascination with Coldplay? Nicole with red hair sang some piece of blandness from them. I don't like Coldplay. (Can you tell?). They saved the big ones for last. The bricklaying boy who had never sung in public before this....apparently. I hate that hippity-hoppity big cap, basketball singlet look. But I found him really entertaining. And Sabrina, the littlest pixie in the competition sang a big song that Dicko kindly told her could make her a Mardi Gras star. I'm not sure she was too thrilled with that. But she kept smiling anyway.

Oh and through from last night - two huge voices - Ashleigh and Nathan. Nathan had a hat on which hid his awfully big fringe. Oh and Stan had ditched the big glassess and returned to the beannie. However, there were two girls in the audiences in big glasses. Could they be the bunny ears of Idol 2009? Let's hope not.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

What Wendy Watched: SONG CHOICE PEOPLE

Is it too early to hang my head in my hands and sob uncontrollably while watching Australian Idol? SONG CHOICE PEOPLE.

You know there have been some decent songs written in the history of pop, rock, blues, folk, country etc etc. I would not include on that list All Fired Up (Pat Benatar), It Must Have Been Love (Roxette), whatever that Christina Aguilera thing was, anything by Rob Thomas or Alanis Morrisette. But that's just me. The Elton John sun song is okay but really...a little bit dated. It was like a bad night at a karaoke bar.

Who stood out? No-one really. Although the Roxette young lady was noticeable for her inability to sing in tune and all round blandness. Not sure what was going on there. And Ashleigh Aguilera and Lauren Morrissette are going to ruin their young voices if they continue to push them like that from the back of their throats. Well, that's what it sounds like anyway. Young Nathan (Elton)John has the truest and most techinically sound voice I think. But I really want to brush that hair back out of his face. He was probably the pick.

In judging news, Marcia's hair was nicely wavy tonight, while Dicko and Mr DJ continued to try distinguish themselves from each other without much success. Mr G did a nice job of hosting solo. And Ricki Lee is a giant. (in case you hadn't noticed)

Oh and Stan and Kate got through to the top 12 from last night. Stan - predictable. Kate - a little bit of a surprise. Toby Coldplay looks like it's back to the classroom. And tall Seth pretty eyes didn't make it either. hmmmm.

What Wendy Watched: Dicko kindly described you as bonkers

Australian Idol Semi Final One was full of feel-good comments from the judges, lots of screaming and home-made support signs. Dicko had a hair cut, Marcia was wearing an odd kind of white collar shirt contraption and new judge JD/ DJ was trying to establish a personality of his own. It's going to be difficult Mr J since you and Dicko seem to be record company clones. Still I didn't miss the unmentionable Mr Sandilands, because quite simply he always seemed like a tactless oaf. Perhaps he and Shane Warne could have a beer together sometime. I'm sure they'd hit it off.

Now because I had choir I had to record and watch later. This meant I didn't watch Dr Who but it didn't really matter because I have seen the first Martha episode very recently and I was recording it as well. All this recording meant I had to get my Mum to record Big Bang Theory which I will watch tonight. Phew, television is a logistical nightmare sometimes.

Right - now for my verdicts.

Hayley - Dicko kindly described you as bonkers in his own special endearing way. Not sure why you chose that boring Diesel song. I'm sure the words were easy to remember given they were so repetitive. You have interesting hair. I'm not sure what else of substance there may be.

Seth - As everyone pointed out you are very tall. You also play the piano although did not do so last night. Perhaps you should have (or is that not allowed?). Anyway, being an old person I'm didn't recognise your song and because I was fastforwarding through all the recaps and boring bits I missed Mr G introducing it. Seth, you have very pretty eyes but I don't know you have the "best voice in the competition". Still, the prettiness may get you a lot of votes.

Jamila - big risk singing Stevie Wonder and in a lower key as Marcia musically pointed out to us. Do you have a higher register? Time may tell. Dicko was right- the earrings were distracting. There is no need to drape thyself in quite so much jewellery. Let the singin' do the talkin'.

Toby - You are my favourite. But Coldplay? Boring. Pick a better song if you get a next time. And lose your Mum. It makes you look like a bit of a nerd. And just who are these "soccer mums" that are going to vote for you?

Kate - Rockin' and rollin'. "Lots of energy" - (If Dicko didn't say this I'm sure he should). I don't like the hat. But there may be a huge rural country music vote that will start texting. I don't know.

Stan - The judges are in lurve with you. I liked you much better in the heats. Plus the song, while very lovely, took too long to get going. So I was a little bit b-o-r-e-d spells bored. Please don't make the beanie thing your signature.

Wendy's words of advice: Stop walking all around the stage for no reason while you are singing. It's distracting and some of you looked very awkward. Still, early days. It's been a few seasons since I've bothered with Idol but I was impressed with some of the singing (and no for once I'm not being sarcastic).

Monday, August 24, 2009

Redeemed by Bach



Monday, it's me again. You have redeemed yourself somewhat with the above. (via Colin on fb)
Kind regards
Wendy

Dearest Monday

Dearest Monday

I wore my happy red shoes with silver buckles and my shiny red bracelet in an effort to ward off the listless ennui of you, the first day of the week. However, it seems your magical Monday powers are strong. Stronger indeed than some cheap shoes and blingy accessories. For you threw me a great number of challenges - some tasks, some technological, some people, some financial - without any thought of whether or not they would make for a good day.

Here's a little tip Monday, free of charge from me to you. If you want people to like you, and say things like "Oh bliss and glee, why can't every day be Monday?" (instead of complaining bitterly every time you arrive) you might want to try treating us all with a little more respect. You could even throw some happy happy joy joy moments in there.

Just a thought.

Your sincerely

Wendy